the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
