Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
