Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
