Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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