Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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