Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
