can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
