he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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