I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
