I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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