A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
