I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
