WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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