We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
