When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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