He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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