i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
