remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
