i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
