I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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