Where is the hickey?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
