She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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