My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
