erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
