so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
