did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
