Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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