giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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