I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
