We're facebook friends in real life
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
