i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
