Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Randomize
