and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
