Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
