i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
