He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
