the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
