Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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