Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
