I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
