he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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