either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Floor bacon is actually really good
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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