you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
