in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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