they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
