I'm jealous of your bromance
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
