I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
So apparently I’m into choking now
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