the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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