k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
