They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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