I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
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