Well douche your snatch and let's go!
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
