you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
