Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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